Episode #57: Navigating the Emotional Weight of Leaving Your Family Home

October 20, 2026

What’s cool about Garden Village is I have seen so many couples move their families and husbands and wives, sometimes singles- and they- I talked to them, you know- months later, and they’re like, I feel like I’m on a cruise ship, and we’re still headed to our destination. I am running a few minutes late; my previous meeting is running over.

Hello, I’m Scott Miller, the chief marketing officer at Garden Spot Communities. And Juanita Fox, the storyteller. So, in this season of purpose and retirement, we’ll be talking with people whose stories appeared in the articles published in the fall 2026 issue of Destination Garden Spot Communities magazine.

Today, we are honored to host Carol Lehman, a New Holland-based realtor with Hostetter Realty. Carol works closely with families who are preparing to move to communities like Garden Spot Village.

So, Carol, so like, what made you decide to focus like so much of your time, energy, your business on helping people transition to communities like Garden Spot Village?

Great question. I, I’m going to, I’ll say this to start out: I help I love helping all of my clients. Of course, everybody. Yeah, I mean, I love real estate, you know, helping people purchase homes and sell homes.

It’s an exciting time. But the group of people that are downsizing that have been in their homes for 20, 30, 40, 50, at one, at 64 years, they are, you know, they’re stressed out, and they’re worried about, you know, what is it going to. What am I going to need to do to my house? And I’ve just found that this is a group.

This is a client I am comfortable with. And I feel like I have personal past experience, and I can just basically come in the door, become a friend and put them at ease. And it’s a happy time. It’s such a happy time transitioning. It’s awesome; I love it. Why is it important to meet with a realtor even when your move may be 3 or 4 years apart?

We will meet with clients sometimes. It’s usually I think about the max I had was maybe three years. You know, it’s about easing into this move. So, you know, a lot of people don’t want to talk about the transition. They think, well, do I really want to move? They sign up; they may put their name on a list.

And, you know, they’re out there. And they keep thinking, well, it’s out there. We don’t need to plan. But that transition, that time easing into the process and really, you know, planning ahead to say, hey, what is it? What are those things that would be helpful to do now instead of waiting till the last minute?

There’s so much value in it, and every time I experience a client who plans ahead. They are thankful that they did it. And they’re like, wow, this wasn’t as bad as what I thought it was going to be. So, I know that when you talk about these things all the time, I was like, what is the value of sorting your belongings into?

Well, I’m going to keep this, maybe let this one go. That one. This is a maybe pile. So why, like, why do that early in the process? This is the most helpful tool that I have found with my clients. You know, they look at the house as a whole, and they’re so overwhelmed, and we break it down.

We break it down into three easy categories. If you say, okay, I know I’m going to be taking this item with me, that’s an easy, that’s an easy, easy 100% this kitchen table and chairs. They’re going with me. And then you have those items you’re like, “Well, I’ve had that sofa since the kids were born, and there’s no way I’m getting new furniture.”

So, you know, those items are going to go. But what we do is we allow we allow you we allow the client to have the maybe category, and the maybe category is the category that, you know, they’re hopeful. We’re hopeful. Even if I was in that situation, maybe my boys, my kids, would like these items, you know, and it gives them permission not to make those decisions immediately and say, you know what?

Keep that maybe stack for a while. And then as the days and weeks and months pass, you start walking through, you see that maybe you’re like, you know what? That’s a no-go. I’m not taking it. Or yeah, I definitely am. So we just try to also encourage them to not, you know, attack the whole house at one time, but just to be able to break it up into, okay, room by room, and you start thinking about that, and it’s been a great tool, and it’s been, you know, it seems to be the solution to help them work through that.

Yeah. How do small repairs and routine maintenance affect the sale of a home later on? Sure. So, we’re all in our house, and we don’t think about it. We don’t think about it; you know, most of us, you know, we’ll have that yearly maintenance check for your, you know, heating and cooling equipment. But keeping up with a, you know, a simple thing like if you look at your garage door and look at the trim around your garage door, it starts.

It’s an area where you often see some, you know, rotting or the wood giving way, you know, just simple things like that. Because when that consumer comes into your house, a buyer comes in, and they look; first impressions are important. So we work hard at having, you know, let’s keep up. Let’s have those finishing touches taken care of.

And also, the heating and cooling system is important. Those are expensive items. So you stay on top of it with, you know, the maintenance and repairs and then, you know, when the time comes, it’ll be in good condition. Well, the couple in the article got five offers on their house in like three days.

They sold it well over the asking price. So, like, what did they do that made that all possible? I love these guys, and I don’t think Mario would care if I said his name or Mario and Barbara. We’re going through that process right now, as part of the transaction. So it was funny because we had scheduled the Future Residence seminar.

Greg Hostetter and I had, you know, this seminar planned. We met. Well, I think there were like 70 people that attended, future residents down the road. Rich had set that up. And anyway, Mario called me that morning and he’s like, Carol, I, I just want you to know we’re getting really close or our names on, you know, number 3 or 2 on the list.

And I want you to know, we’re going to be calling you as soon as. And I said, oh, crazy. I said, are you coming to the future residence seminar today? And sure enough, they were coming. So that was the first I had met him, and it was only a couple of weeks that had passed until the phone call came in.

But immediately we went out and met, and they had a beautiful home. Their setting was fantastic. They had been in their house for quite a few years, and we all live in our home differently than we sell it. So, we went through the whole house and I, you know, made some recommendations. I’m like, okay, let’s, let’s, let’s take some things away.

We’ll use the word “declutter” and take some things out of the house. And they donated many items. They wanted to replace some flooring in their bathroom. They did that. It just. And then I went in several times to, to, you know, see how we can create space. And they followed every single tip I gave them, and sure enough, we went to market with multiple offers and over the asking price.

I mean, they couldn’t have been happier with the result. But, you know, there’s a lot of strategy involved, and I encourage the future. I encourage that homeowner to really think through this when I go out, especially when you meet with them, you know, even three years before we talk about, let’s, let’s work on removing some of these personal items because that buyer today.

So when I was a kid, I, when I was younger, when my husband and I bought our first house, we knew we were going to go into the home. We were possibly going to pull out the flooring, paint the walls and make all these different improvements to the house. Today is different. I see this when I walk through a home with a buyer.

They go through the house and they’re kind of like, they want it, move in, ready? So, I say presentation is really, important when we’re, you know, putting a house on the market. Of course, price is important too. And they 100% nailed it. They nailed it. So one of the things I’m curious about is I talked to people and, you know, typically when people move to Garden Spot, it’s like 90 days.

So it’s quick. And now they’ll say, like, how am I ever going to sell my house in 90 days, right? And here we just have three days. Right. So what do you say to those people who say, like, how do I get my house quick? So I’m hoping they’re coming to me before the 90 days are up.

But one of the questions that, when I go out and when Greg and I go out and meet with them, initially, we discuss, we walk through the house, we talk about the things that are keeping them up at night, and those things are like, oh, am I going to have to replace the carpet? Do I need to paint this?

Do you know, the, the, the things that they think must be done don’t necessarily always need to be done. So, we walk through, and we answer those questions. But another question that we have is, and I always ask them, I said, Will you need the funds from the sale of your home to purchase? And some don’t necessarily need those funds, but they would love to have the funds.

It would make it easier than maybe contacting, you know, pulling from their retirement or contacting a bank to do a home equity line of credit. And so I always like to be completely prepared. I will assess the situation and say we’re confident your house is going to sell. And the best part is you’ll be able to call the shots.

So, here’s what’s cool: if you follow the plan, you prepare your home. You have it completely ready to go on the market. You price it right. When we list a property, we will, as the agent, communicate with the realtors to share it. This is the closing date the client would like to use, and they would like X days post-closing to move out.

And it has worked. It has worked time and time again when you know where they are.

Closing, and then they have a post-occupancy. Just yesterday, we had a client who just moved into Garden Spot. Same thing they had, I think, around 7 to 10 days post-closing to move their items out and then, you know, be ready for the new owners. And when you’re in a market that is a seller’s market, which we are still in Lancaster County, in a seller’s market in the surrounding counties, you really can ask for those; you know, we like to ask it while the iron’s hot.

I always like to say the buyer wants your house. Let’s ask, you know, to make it easy for you to make the transition. So, yeah, it is possible; the 90 days is totally possible. And if not, we always have a backup plan. I always sit there and say, okay, what’s our backup plan?

I don’t think we’re going to need it, but we’re going to have a backup plan. And it’s crazy because, I don’t know, maybe 3 or 4 months ago, I went out to meet with clients who are 2 to 3 years out. She was not nervous. She’s like, oh, there’s no way my house is going to sell.

Like, do you really think somebody’s going to want my house? Because when you’re there for so long, you don’t realize the value of your place. And I’m like, yes, they’re going to want your house. And no fear, you’re going to get top dollar for it because the market’s still really good. Oh, this is kind of a follow-up to that a little bit, which is, what role do you usually play, like?

And the weeks right before the closing. So, working up to that with the settlement company, all that kind of stuff like, well, what role do you play? We’re so we’re in we’re in complete communication. So, we have a very well-oiled machine that takes place with a contact management system, and I’ll give a shout-out to Brittany Shore.

She’s our transaction coordinator, and she does a fantastic job. She, you know, we’re communicating with the buyer’s agent a lot to make sure that they have a mortgage, or if they have a mortgage, it might be a cash deal. Who knows? But we’re making sure that everything is progressing well. We are in communication with a title company to ensure the buyer’s title search is completed.

There are no issues. We scheduled the closing. And then, of course, with Gordon, if there’s anything to communicate, the client is typically in close contact with them and relays what’s going on to us. But yeah, it’s just a matter of really staying on top of all the details to be sure. There are no surprises.

You know, the ones that need the mortgage, as I called, we have clients that are moving in, and I called her and said, oh, the appraisal came in, the house appraised at a value, no issue, and she’s like, oh, such a load off my shoulders. But I knew it was going to be fine. But those are the things. Because, you know, somebody’s been in their house with someone for 64 years.

They don’t. They haven’t sold a house in a long time. So don’t know exactly what’s involved with that process. So, it’s really a matter of communicating and staying on top of every detail. What’s the biggest misconception people have about selling a house in Lancaster County, given today’s real estate market? Everybody wants to save, and I don’t; I do too.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to save everybody I can, but real estate’s different today than it was years ago. And, you know, I mean, you can do a private transaction. And if you know the person and you’re familiar with the situation, it works. But you also want to be careful. And so, I think that’s an area where, you know, people sometimes get tripped up a little bit.

The other misconception is that they think they can just put their house on the market and not do any of these improvements, meaning staging and having the house ready to be sold. Buyers are, like I mentioned earlier, really, really. A lot of kids today aren’t looking to make many improvements to places.

So, you know, it’s important. It really is. So how do you, like, help people balance this emotional side of leaving this family home, you know, with the practical side of doing all these things and getting ready for a sale? It’s tough. So, again, Greg Hostetter and I work together, and we go out, and he’s always like, you’re better at that.

I’ll let you do that. But it’s a matter of, you know, you really want to take time to allow them to talk about the past. So, we go through that. So there’s this fine line between talking about your memories in the house and also helping them shift their thoughts to the future.

And what’s cool about Garden Spot Village is I have seen so many couples move their families and husbands and wives, sometimes singles. And I talked to them, you know, months later, and they’re like, I feel like I’m on a cruise ship, and we’re still headed to our destination, you know? And so we talk; I try to help them see the other side while still allowing them to talk about these memories.

Someone mentioned to me just yesterday; it was somebody unrelated to one of my clients, and she said, ” We have so much artwork; we don’t know what we’re going to do with all of our artwork. And so I sat and talked to her about it, and she was sharing with me where they obtained a lot of the pieces.

And just to be able to talk about it and be able to express, you know, that and listening is so important. But then once we get through that, then we start to, you know, we’ll, we’ll, we’ll schedule, we’ll put some goals and some dates of when do you think we can be ready for pictures, or when would you like me to stop back and walk through again?

And that has been, you know, it’s difficult. It really is. But at the end, once they’re moved and their items are put away in the house, they’re like, “we love this.” What were we waiting for? So it’s great. So cool. Yeah, yeah, it’s cool if somebody is thinking about a move but feels like they’re not yet ready to talk to a realtor. What is something they can do to kind of begin that process on their own?

Take those three categories and start walking through one room at a time, saying, “What do I want to take?” And what do I want to get rid of? And where’s my maybe stack? And that’s a great place to start. But it’s never too soon to talk to me because, hey, no strings attached. I’m just happy to sit down and have a conversation with somebody and hopefully say what’s needed so that they, they’re not, you know, keeping them up at night.

So as we’re closing the podcast, is there anything that you would want to share with our listeners that we haven’t talked about yet that you thought, you know what, it would be good for people to know this too? Gordon Smith Village is amazing. If you’re headed there, I highly recommend it. Hope to go there sometime myself, someday ourselves.

But a lot of, I think, consumers kind of touch base again on, you know, having that consultation. People feel as if they’re committing to working with me, or to making the move, by having the consultation. Greg Hostetter and I, I have always said our goal is to be a resource, and that’s what we want to be.

We just want to be here to answer questions. And so, I just encourage them to ask. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thank you. This is cool. If you would like to read the article about preparing your home for a move that appeared in the fall 2026 issue of Destination Garden Spot Communities Magazine.

Click the link in the show notes. Thank you for listening to Purpose and Retirement. Our host is Scott Miller, and our co-host is Juanita Fox. Our audio engineer and producer is Austin Gingerich.

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